


Letters To Nowhere

by Ainasaurus_rex



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28970262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ainasaurus_rex/pseuds/Ainasaurus_rex
Summary: Sabo writes Ace a letter.
Relationships: Portgas D. Ace/Sabo
Comments: 17
Kudos: 19





	Letters To Nowhere

Sabo dipped the tip of his feather pen into the jet blank ink and started writing on the parchment in front of him. The sun was setting and it bathed the room in beautiful orange and red tones. There was a light breeze that swayed the curtains of his open window. It was a perfect time to write.

'Dear Ace,

I know that this letter will never reach you, nor will you ever be able to know any of the things that I am about to write. Yet still I am sitting here and doing it. It's sort of dumb but please understand.

I just want to tell you how much I loved you and how much you mean to me. You were an extremely important person in my life and I'll never forget you. Every single day I still cry thinking that I'll never see you again.

I miss your smile. I miss the way that your eyes would light up whenever we talked about adventure. I miss your laugh and I miss your voice. I miss the moments we shared together.

You were a person who hated yourself truly deep down to the core but I could only love you with all my heart. I could never understand how you couldn't see how amazing you were.

You were undoubtedly the light of my life and my one true love. I'm so sorry that I couldn't have been there. I hate myself for not remembering. I hate that we could have met but the universe denied us both.

I still vividly remember a moment in time where it was only the two of us. We were sitting in a tree and looking up at the stars above us. I couldn't help but think that the freckles on your face were similar to stardust. You were absolutely beautiful.

The cosmos bathed you in an ethereal glow and I couldn't tear my eyes away. You asked me if I thought the sky was pretty and I said yes. But to me you were even better. When you looked up the stars twinkled in your eyes and made them shine.

I couldn't help but reach out a hand to take your own. I would have thought you would reject me then. But all you did was take a glance at me and squeeze my hand back. 

The feelings that suddenly erupted and bloomed in my chest are immeasurable. I had felt like my emotions were pouring out of my body and there was nothing that I could do to stop it.

I took great comfort in you. It felt like we were two sides of the same coin. Every small touch sent my heart racing a thousand miles a minute.

I was so desperately in love with you. No, that's a lie. I still am in love with you. And it pains me so much to know that I'll never be able to tell you. I have to settle for writing it in a letter.

You were so strong, so brave, so wonderful in every way. How could I not love someone like you? You held the very galaxy in your arms and the infinite stars in your eyes. You locked up the heavens in your soul.

But I knew that you were broken. I wanted to help you and I tried my very best. It's a shame that our time was cut short. I still remember our days together as if they were yesterday but they were so long ago.

It feels like it's been a millennia since I have felt your touch, since I have heard your voice, since I have seen you smile. I truly do miss your smile the most I think. It was rare and beautiful. It lit up your entire face and filled me with adoration.

I'm so incredibly sorry. The regret that I feel is a mountain and keeps piling up as the days go on. I'm sorry I couldn't remember. I'm sorry I didn't come back to you. I'm sorry that you lost me.

If the grief I feel is anything close to what you felt all those years ago I'm so, so sorry. I can never forgive myself for putting you through such a painful experience.

My chest feels like there is a gaping hole that can never be filled. The pain when I cry is like nothing I have ever felt before. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to be okay. I wonder if I will ever be able to move on. I know you would want me to. But I'm scared to let go of you.

What am I supposed to do once I let go? You were such a big part of making me who I am. How do I just let go a piece of me? It feels like it should be a crime. It's an absolute travesty.

You were my home. You are now a home that I can never come back to. You are a home that is lost to time. It makes my heart shatter to think about this. I hate it so much.

I wonder sometimes if you ever felt the same way about me. I highly doubt it but one could hope right? I think it would be for the best if you didn't. The pain is enough to make me want to stop existing. But I'll have to go on because I want to continue your legacy.

Even as I write this letter to you I am weeping. I don't believe any amount of years or decades will ease my agony. The universe must hate me to have cursed me with such a fate. But I never did deserve you anyway.

Our time spent together feels like it was so long ago. I long for those days like nothing else. It feels like everything is slipping through my fingers and I am unable to grasp onto anything.

I can't express in words how much I truly did love you. I loved you more than the universe, more than I could ever love myself or anyone else. Each day that passed it felt like the impossible happened and my love for you grew.

My love is immeasurable and unending. The feeling consumes me whole sometimes and all I can think about is you. I long to see you. Even if it was just for a moment.

I desperately want to confess everything I've been feeling for almost all of my life. I want you to know how perfect you are. I want you to know how I saw you. How you deserved the world and everything more.

I hope that they're treating you well up there. I wish I could tell you that I've been doing well. But everything hurts so much every day the more that I accept you will never come back. You are gone forever and there is nothing that I can do about it.

There's so many more feelings that I have yet to explain but I don't have the words to be able to do so. For now I'll end it here. I'm sure my rambling must be tiring.

Yours,  
Sabo'

Putting his pen down Sabo wiped at the tears that were pouring down his face. He folded the letter up and held it close to his chest. Standing up from his chair he walked over to the open window and smiled sadly at the sun which had almost set. He leaned the top half of his body out of the window.

Calling upon his flames he set the letter in his hands ablaze as he held it out towards the sky. He watched as the paper turned to ash and started to fly away with the breeze.

It felt comforting to let the parchment go. He felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

Once the paper was fully burned, Sabo leaned his arms on the windowsill and turned up to look at the sky.

"Let's meet again in the next life, Ace."

**Author's Note:**

> i cried writing this :/ its basically just a vent tbh


End file.
